ME
I suppose I should start by introducing myself and explaining why I would want to become a Certified Professional Midwife (CPM).
My name is Erin. I am a stay-at-home mother of (currently) five children. Four were born in hospitals, one at home. Two of my babies were born attended by OB/GYNs, two with Certified Nurse-Midwives (CNM), one with a CPM. Three were born with the epidural-and-pitocin treatment, one "accidentally" natural, one natural by choice. I feel that short of a cesarean section, I have largely run the gamut of normal birth experiences.
Like many people, I assumed that babies were born in hospitals, that doctors know best, and that if you can get yourself labeled "high-risk", you are likely to get the safest care available. I thought that home birth was for crunchy-organic-granola people and I wanted nothing to do with that kind of irresponsible extremism.
MY SHORT OBSTETRIC HISTORY
My first child was born in 2001, attended by a OB/GYN who not only had the bedside manner of a drunken sailor, but who told me during my labor that he had a camping trip that weekend (it was a Friday) and that I was to have that baby by 5pm. After a violent-but-effective experience with pitocin, and a too-little-too-late epidural, low blood sugar, exhaustion, forceps delivery (which bruised my sweet baby's face) a HUGE episiotomy and further tearing, I was delivered of a 7#3 baby boy. During the stitching-up process, my doctor left several gauze packs inside my body, which caused a terrifying scene almost a week later.
The following year, 2002, my second child was born in a different hospital attended by a CNM. I LOVED this woman. She was a calming, wonderful influence in the delivery room. Although I still had pitocin augmentation and an epidural, I was this time calm and lucid enough to participate in my daughter's birth.
In 2004, even after giving birth twice, I had not at this point ever experienced a true active labor contraction - only pitocin-augmented contractions. When my labor began with my third child, I assumed it was pre-labor because it was not wrenchingly painful. I went about my business, even sleeping through a long stretch of active labor. I awoke during transition, and only began to realize that I MIGHT be in labor. I tried to go do laundry, but found the task impractical. My husband and I arrived at the hospital with only enough time to change clothes, have every vein in both arms ruptured in an attempt to start an IV, and have a fight with the CNM-on-call (same practice as the previous birth, but not my favorite person in the practice) before our son was born less than an hour after our arrival. No drugs. I had no idea what to expect because I had never experienced natural labor before. I was terrified. I was equally shocked by the sudden relief, calm, and buoyancy I felt immediately after the birth. The recovery was phenomenal.
My fourth (another son) was born in 2007, in a new hospital in a new city, with a new OB/GYN. The experience of being thrust back into the pitocin-and-epidural routine contrasted sharply with my previous birth experience and confirmed to me that something needed to change.
When I became pregnant with my fifth child, I searched for local CNMs, finding very few options, and none I was comfortable with. I did, however, find many CPMs/RMs (Registered Midwife) who did home births. It was an option I never had considered before. My preliminary searches yielded very comforting statistics about the safety of home birth, and I was shocked to discover that our insurance company would actually COVER a home birth with a CPM! My husband slowly became convinced that this was a doable option, and we hired our wonderful midwife, Merrie. I studied and read everything I could during the pregnancy, becoming ever more convinced that this was the right course, and discovering the likely reasons I endured so many interventions with my previous births. I gained confidence in my own ability to birth, discarded my fear of the process, and just enjoyed the beauty, power and majesty of the miracle of new life. Our son was born in November of 2009 in our own room, next to our bed, in an unprecedented atmosphere of peace, joy, support and comfort. Less than an hour later, I was showered, dressed in my own comfortable clothes, and in my bed with my son at my breast and my husband lying beside me. It was a remarkable and life-changing moment.
A NEW JOURNEY
I knew after this experience that I wanted to change our society's birth culture - and in so doing indeed change the world - one family, one woman at a time. So began the journey I am currently on. I decided within a year after my little son's birth that I wanted to become a home birth midwife.
I now am studying and doing the academic portion of my training through an online program called Midwife-To-Be, which is run by Lisa Aman, a midwife in South Carolina. I also do clinical hours at prenatal/postnatal visits with my preceptor, Merrie, the midwife who caught my last baby. I am taking my time with the program. I want to be thorough, and I do not intend on having regular office hours or my own practice until my youngest child (who is not yet born) is old enough to be at home alone or with his/her siblings. In the mean time, I participate in the birthing process wherever I can, including giving support (and foot massages) to expecting mothers, volunteering as a doula at friends' births, and helping wherever I am wanted.
AN INVITATION
Join me on my journey. I welcome your insights, comments and experiences. I hope that my experiences and knowledge will help you.
